I love you too
by Pollzy Claire
Summary: All great tales end with sorrow. PHAN - TRAGIDY FINISHED AND BADLY DONE


Phanfiction - I love you too Dan and phil fanfiction WARNING: TRIGGERS, SELFHARMING AND STUFF (swell as fluff...) I sat on my computer avidly reading the phanfiction. This one was one about dan being a super sexy Sherlock and me being Watson. It, like many, shipped Dan and I together. I know all the phandom sees my love for Dan, but the handsome internetiual prince is oblivious. I checked the time- 2pm, Dans going to be coming home soon. I remember our latest argument as clear as day, and the scars still fresh down the back of my legs. What was it all about again?- oh yeah, our next video tomorrow. I got out my Camera and plugged it into my computer and then recorded my video diary and my red eyes still showing up on camera.I also showed my scars and then finished, turned the camera off and locked to computer. - Dans POV I can't believe it! He just expects me to be up to filming it! I had told him the month before that Emily and I where gong out for dinner on our anniversary. Why do I feel like he always wants to sabotage these things? I ran my fingers through my hair, the rain falling on it made it start to form my hobbit hair. I started to head home, walking as slow as possible without stopping. When I got to the door I decided to try and sneak in. I went as slowly and as silently as possible then when i unlocked the front door I was taken back to hear phil mumbling from his room. Who was he talking to? I moved towards his bedroom door and placed my ear against it in order to make out words. "you don't even know. I know by the time you see this you will, but at the moment every single argument we have, every single battle we come across, it makes me love you even more, and it just lets me see the distance between us, fait will never let us be. And all that really comes of is these scars all over me." his voice choked out. Who was he talking to? Maybe I should go in. No. I should just go to my own room. I started to turn around when suddenly a hand grabbed my shoulder. I turned around I see phil stood in the now wide open door. "Phil.." I started when I saw the look of fear and anger plastered on his face. "how much did you hear." he growled, I flinched at his tone. "Phil are you alright?" I tried. As I braved to glance into his sky blue pools once more, only to find they had become a ice sharp maelstrom of anguish. "how much did you hear!" Phil repeated in a much more daring voice. "just mumbling, I came to see if you where ok-" "don't lie to me Dan Howell." he cut off. I felt fear build inside me, his eyes had long been drained of all tears, yet another escaped. "I heard you say about how from the time 'you' see this..." I whimpered. He then suddenly collapsed. I leaned forward to catch him and we ended up as a bundle on the carpet, phil silently sobbing into my shoulder. As I knelt in front of him holding his body up. "I- I'm- s-sorry for yelling and getting annoyed Dan." phil sobbed, his throat catching on the words. - Phil POV As I felt my flood barriers break Dan caught me. His arms wrapped around my sides holding me up. Once again his strength capturing me at my time of weakness. This is why I am so star-crossed when it comes to love. I just need him to see it. I just... Need... Him... To ... See... I was meant to confess, to apologise, to explain. I just end up apologising for yelling. He won't understand because I'm not worth him. He deserves so much more. He isn't like me. He isn't bi. He's dating Emily. Give up phil he doesn't even care about you. Your just his roommate. That's all. That's all it will ever be. I'm not worth him. I don't deserve him. My parents didn't deserve me. They should have more. I couldn't help myself. I stood up and shook Dans grasp off and ran to my room before slamming and locking the door. I turned up the sound on my iPod stereo. The end by my chemical romance. Such a suiting song for a time like this. I grabbed the penknife and cut straight through the fabric of my socks and onto my ankles. Blood already colouring the White fabric red. This was deeper than before. And god the pain was unbearable... I felt myself start to fade out, and the last I heard was the thump of my head hitting the ground. But the last I felt was pain at the base of my head as the knife entered. Shit. - Dans POV He got up and ran to his room, locking me out. I sat by the door and tried to call to him. I heard sobs then a loud thump. That I wasn't particularly worried about. It was the scream that followed that that made me start to break into his room. When I managed to turn the lock with my finger nails I ran in and then waited for my eyes to register the sight. Phil laid on the floor, his face facing up at an odd angle. I moved towards his head but as soon as I did I wish I hadn't. At the base of phil's head a knife was jammed in sideways. No. This... This can't be real... I walked over to the phone and dialled 999. "hello what emergency service do you require?" a woman's voice asked. "My roommate phil Lester self harmed and fainted back onto the knife which is now burried in at the base of his head. I need an ambulance at 162, the avenue, near the brambles pub. Please be fast." I explained, to my suprise I was extremely calm.. - A week has passed since phil last moved of his own accord. He is in a coma. His wound has almost healed and luckily there was no brain damage but... He's not awoken. At all. I... I can't continue to be strong. I have stayed at his bedside since. I've not even moved to get food. This Sunday they used the prerecorded ones for the radio show so we still got the money. I can't believe he cuts though. I can't believe it... As questions start of spinning around my head again I felt my eyes prickle with tears. My bestfriend cuts. Did he try to commit suicide? I decided, I was going to leave him and find out and look after him. as I got up and was about to open the door it opened it's self. "Aah! Daniel! I need to talk to you. If you would like to follow me this way" the nurse rambled on. I followed her, and was lead to a room outside the office, the blank Walls filled with posters somewhat reminded me of the desk of my old head teacher in secondary school. "Dan, Phil woke up last night when you were asleep, he was screeching and I am shocked you didn't wait. He tried... He tried to use his nails to cut his wrists. We had to put him back into a medically induced coma. Due... Due to his depresion ..." "please just get to the point." I stated. I didn't want to face any of this bullshit anymore... This just isnt how it is ment to be. "due to phils condition we are taking him into a mental hospital." - PHILS POV "So you see, if he agrees he can't go! I can take perfect care of him! I know him inside out! Hell.. I love him! Even more than a best friend! I... Ever since... I met him, even before that, I had a huge crush him, not even that, before I knew him I, yes, me, use to cut. I managed to stop. I know how it feels! IF YOU TAKE HIM I WILL START. I can't go on without him! Please. I would die for him to live." I could hear dans sobs that followed. I... He... He loves me? I... I thought he was straight. What have I done? I opened my eyes, feeling dizzy from being in a coma for a week. I sat up, only then did I notice the throbs in my head. I tried to say something but a dry squeak was all that responded. I turned around and pressed the red button on the wall. It took all my might to control it but I managed it. Shortly after a few nurses came in and instantly noticed I was awake. I managed to say "head hurts." in the smallest raspy version of my voice. It was at that moment Dan walked in and what I saw struck me down to the very bone. His eyes where bloodshot and where surrounded in red. His chocolate pools had been drained of all confidence and happiness and now where filled with hurt, relief and confusion. "Phil.." he whispered before coming closer and pulling me into a sharp hug. "I'm sorry Phil, I should have noticed, I should have said. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry." He then sobbed. His eyes once more reenacting a scene from Niagara Falls as my hospital gown slowly got damper. "Dan it's not your fault. I love you too." I confessed. "I... I didn't even say I love you, you ninny!" he laughed, yet his eyes still bled with the pain of before. I smiled a half smile. "Dan, I'm really sorry. I need you to promise to keep going. Even if I do something drastic, I need you to take care of my Phillions always." I whispered. I knew I was coming to an end, the doctors didn't but I could feel it coming, seeing as I am still on life support and everything. "don't you dare lea- no. Phil you can't go!" he sobbed. I could hear my heart monitor slowly fall behind what was the rhythmic tapping. "PHIL. No Phil! I love you. I promise to be better! Please... Please just come back..." I heard Dan sobbing in the distance. "Don't be a pussy Dan. Stay strong for me. I will see you in 70 years." I whispered into the fading light. By the time the monitor stopped I was too fan gone. - DAN P.o.v I sat down on the grass in front of the concrete slab. "Hey Phil! Long time no see! So this morning I had bumped into a fan of ours and she was really nice and gave me a fan art and a present for you. I put it in your room for when you get back. You know it's getting lonely without you here. How are you? Do you know it's only been a day since we last spoke? Lion was starting to miss you so I brought him along." I got lion out of my bag and put it on the concrete that lay in front of me. "you see! The fans have been asking when the next Philisnotonfire is so I wrote a brief script and selected more truth or dares we could possibly use. But your helping me edit it. You still owe me from last time you bitch! I restocked the Lion cereal. It went out of date! I also got you a birthday present. It's on your bed too. I wrapped it up in high school musical wrapping paper. I hope you like it, it was really expensive but it is so worth it! I vacuumed and dusted your room again. I also changed the bedding. It's all clean for you to come home too! Oh, and Geffriette the hamster I brought you for christmas. had baby's. I'm going to let you choose the names though. Just please come back Phil. I have saved watching the next series of Sword Art Online so I can watch it with you and see all your cute reactions! But at the rate this is going at I will see all of the spoilers by the internet. The Phillions asked me to tell you to crack on a younow, because you see, I still haven't told them about your... D... D... Death and..." "Phil please just answer me this, are you ever coming back?" I asked. I waited around 5 minuets. "well... I guess You can't because your dead..." Oh... Yeah. Phils dead. phils... Dead Phil is dead and never coming back. "Anyway Phil, I will be back tomorrow. I have to go and see chris and PJ, they won the court case! The drunk driver was charged for manslaughter and drink driving." I told him before gleefully skipped towards the opposite end of the small field. "Hey Peej, hey Chris! So they won the count case! How brilliant is that? Oh, and Carrie showed me your half written book. You know you really should finish it when you get back. Come on guys, paying for a whole extra apartment is annoying. I've dusted it for you! oh and... Peej your mouse has passed away. I'm sorry mate! You could have one of our baby hamsters, although we will have to wait for Phil to get ba-" I stopped abruptly and turned around. "OHMYGODITISDANISNOTONFIRE!" a 18 year old girl screeched. "so you must be a fan of the fantastic foursome. HEY PHIL. THERES A PHAN OVER HERE!" I yelled to Phil. "Dan I don't understand." the girl mumbled as she glanced around. "This is Phil, this is Pj, this is Chris!" I introduced. "Dan, there's noone there.." she breathed. And for the first time I looked around and I saw the writing in the concrete. All my friends are... Dead. Why am I not with them. I wandered over to the little stream. The fan watched me with a worried expression plastered to her face. I dunked my head in water. - Millions upon millions attended my funeral. Fans where grieving, they talked to my dying mum. I held hands with Phil and Pj and Chris. They all helped my through the transition. I had told the fan my password onto anything - Phillesterforever. And I told her Phils. I gave her permission to use it and upload a video and become the new leader, all before I left. But what she did amazed me. She had created a new channel and started uploading. Her and her friend Max. Max became the new Phil and her the new me. Her other 2 friends, Christina and Padre became the new Cris and Peej. She helped the philions and danosaurs through what was now called "the death of the Four." Red had also taken all the cut clips and uploaded everything I ever did onto Danisnotinteresting, and she finished the video I was working on - Till death do us part. It was about how marriage Is weird, and I went into full description about mine and Delias wedding. At the point everyone got over my death, it started to fade. "I guess your now officially dead." Phil whispered, and then pulled me into a kiss. "I love you too." I whispered into his ear. 


End file.
